Wow, that is a lot to deal with.

I don't know what you're taking, but some antidepressants lose effectiveness if you drink alcohol.

I would strongly advise you to look for a new day job. Start now, because it's a lot easier to get a job if you already have one.

I wish I knew what to say about your wife. She needs professional help, and it sounds like she has no intention of getting it. It sounds like you've already tried to talk her into it - have you?