Today I'm proud of me.

I have one of the worst panic attacks I had in all the year. It was because I got into my head that an Isoftstone job offer that I dismissed a month ago was my ticket for a better life (13, 000 pesos monthly, god) and it was because I was lazy and didn't think and so on.

I tried to cry, couldn't eat, felt like I was crawling to the walls and annoyed my brother. Then I did my grounding techniques and watched Venga la alegria with my mother, which is a program that kills your brain cells I swear, for like 3 hours and I was normal again and went back to send curriculums, accepting that the job was either real or not and I can only or get in or get out but wouldn't affect my life, and studying german online.

Several months ago I would have been incapacitated for the rest of the day and when I started I would have been down for weeks if not months.

Sure, my back is killing me for all the excersice and I feel weird, but I feel somewhat fine and calm Huge success.