Quote:
Originally Posted by AnaWhitney
I know it sounds stupid but I don't even know what I did to 'cope with it.' I come across so uncertain at the best of times even when I know what I'm talking about. But I feel like this topic is such a wordless, confusing mess and if I get into it, I'm afraid the whole thing will have to be picked apart until T believes me.
And thank you everyone who replied to me so far, I really appreciate it  |
It does not sound stupid. It sounds like you have packed things away so effectively you just literally don't even know where to begin anymore. I'm sure this means that you do have a lot of blanks that you're not fully even aware of yet. Would it help to start by saying "I'm so confused by what happened that it is all a wordless confusing mess. I'm worried that...." Eg worried that you will have to talk about it in too much detail, worried about more memories coming up that you are suppressing, worried that she won't believe you, worried that you will convince yourself that it's all in your head and didn't happen, worried about being so worried and confused about it, worried that you will never have the words to talk about it, etc etc, with whatever applies.
Truth time, I told T that I was scared that nobody would believe me because my abuser is so like able - (insert curse word of choice here) even I like him! How's that for messed up? - and it had me even questioning myself and my own memories. There was a huge difference in how I saw it myself, when he quietly, calmly said "I believe you".
I hope that you are able to find a way to open up and talk.