I'm horrible in the fact that I can easily give in and want to give in to the mania. I know it is bad for me, but I once explained to a friend that for me I have never had to use recreational drugs because my mania when in it is a high and euphoric state that abusers chase and dream of attaining. And as soon as the words were out of my mouth I realized that there really isn't much of a difference between giving in to the mania and the actions of a drug abuser. Does that mean I fight it? - I wish.