Well, I have just read your posts to and I find them in question.

Joshuas-mommy, if you truly do see things this way I recommend you seek guidance from a professional. No amount of help I can give you will repair what is happening. A psychiatrist is the best person to assist you at this time.

I see that trust in the mental health system and professionals is something you question. If this is the case might I suggest that you take a trusted friend or family member with you. That way, if there is anything said you find improper you have a level headed witness. I strongly urge you to do this.