No, there is no catharsis that has come with this as yet. There has been a deeper understanding, which I suppose is a comfort, but the larger social issue that this represents is still very much in place and makes me feel very insecure. I don't have a lot of free time or resources that I could afford to sink into advocacy groups in the area, which would probably be a more practical short term countermeasure for the obsessive phase. I do have plans to blog about my experiences in exploring this topic in the vague hope that maybe someone else will read about it and realize that this remains an issue that they can avoid or address in turn, but it's a painful experience to put myself through it in the short term. So that is the catharsis I anticipate, but I'm starting to recognize just how difficult it makes my life in the now.

Now that I finally feel safe enough to deal with it I can't just let it go, but I also can't allow it to consume me and ruin the measure of peace I have managed to gain in my life either. I'm having a hard time striking that balance at the moment.