I agree with rcat. Sometimes depression is very painful and sad. Sometimes it causes irritability. It can also cause the symptoms that you're describing. What you're describing sounds a bit like depersonalization, too. I'm mostly basing that on posts I've seen on this forum. I've only experienced mild symptoms of depersonalization before and it was a while ago.

Can you make an appointment to see your primary care doctor if you have one? If you don't have one and don't have health insurance, you can call United Way at 211 and ask them about community mental health agencies in your area that you can see without insurance.

I hope you'll see a doctor or psychotherapist.