I'm trapped in myself with no where to go. I can't escape me! If I could hide I would but everywhere I go there I am and I can't stand me today. My depression has returned and there are just too many changes in my life. There is a part of me that knows that I will deal with it all but there is an equal part of me that just wants to end it all. Sometimes I get so tired of life that I just don't want to be in this world anymore. I'm not going to do anything...don't have the guts, but I just feel like it sometimes. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I've struggled with depression now for about four years and have had my ups and downs. Sometimes I wonder if I am doomed to this never ending up and down life. I feel like such a failure...I should be able to get my life together but just don't seem to care anymore. I sometimes have hope and then the dark clouds come down on me again and then here I am in a deep funk once more. I hate this place and wish I could escape forever!