These people who rush relationships, tell me how perfect they are then tell me how bad they are then repeat cycle till they break up makes me feel gross.

Why I was in them at one time. I don't like them, it makes me feel gross. When I see other people do it, I don't really try to pay attention more ignore it, but it bothers me when they complain or brag about it then cry to me about it.

Honestly. this is why I don't like relationships.

I can't be myself, if someone wants to change me to fit their image too quick. It's not fair. I don't do it to others they shouldn't feel that my lack of initiation is a sign I won't go further, because they end up pushing me away and I just shut down.

It happens every time no matter how long the relationship is. It's not fair. I do take into account a lot of things, but always what makes me like this is the disconnect itself. I won't like anyone that just wants either sex all the time or the opposite. I want balance a friend a best friend. Nothing else.

Sadly people I've seen more and more common don't know who they are talking to rush into something so fast it's like they have to date for any sex or just as simple as going out to a place as friends not even thinking about sex or anything.

Like I want to say don't focus on the sex aspect, it's an example that I've seen all spectrums for me to realize I've dated girls who wanted just sex first off and felt that being my girlfriend will prevent ridicule. It's gross I didn't like it before or the complete opposite. For me to be any where to be apart of your life to do anything together as friends, like go to a park and do something outside or with a group of friends so on. Some girls I like believe I have to date them so quick without any logic to why. My poor understanding at the time, was ok, let's do it. It's not dating, because I didn't really make a rational decision and neither did the other person. It's how things always end up one sided for certain.

If I really like someone I would like to feel comfortable going slow, but that doesn't happen. I would like to know more about the person in every way and appreciate all I can about the individual before getting into that. That includes sex, to be honest. It's like I have to be quickly slap that gf bf status before we can get to real relationship work. Like that should never happen.

I turn down people who do that not often anymore thankfully, but I don't hesitate to say no and just ignore them for that. It's not fair to me, if you really want to go out with me make boundaries don't have sex with me or if you want to understand I may not want it at times, and may want it a lot at other times.
Understand we may not hook up at all, and I may prefer handholding some kissing maybe doing something different. It's very picky with me, but bear with me it's all to prove to either of us if we do like each other.
Earn your way to a relationship with me or just be my friend or acquaintance or don't talk to me.
I don't understand why people like rushing it stresses me out and make me shut down.

I don't understand how that can be so difficult. From a relationship perspective. I honestly believe some where down the road everyone has thought of this one way or another, but I've seen a lot of people choose to act on emotions and impulse not logic. I think that's what I'm not good at. Emotional love now, it didn't work before and I'm glad it didn't I would of probably settled for the wrong person and a harsh reality of me regretting everything.

So yeah.