Quote:
Originally Posted by faerie_moon_x
I don't really detach from people fully. I have a lot of aloofness. I also have flat affect when depressed. I try to work on this with mindfulness, being aware that it is something that I do that can make others feel unloved or unwanted. It isn't always easy.
If you're detaching fully without wanting to, then that's something you're going to have to investigate. Do you have a therapist? That would be a good thing to work on with a therapist.
|
I am sometimes accused of being aloof, although what's going on deep inside is anything BUT aloof. I am ruled almost entirely by my emotions(no ****? You have BP, BPD & PTSD, HML?!)
Anyway, I do also detach after some time if things get too disastrous in the relationship. It's more of a defense mechanism with me. If things get too painful, I want to run as far away from it as I can. This most definitely includes relationships. Yes, that's also very BPD behavior. I tend to put others on a pedestal then if they hurt me or I am or perceive myself to be abandoned, I split them black, push them away & detach emotionally as much as I can....that way I can't get hurt.
Of course, it really does hurt when they leave & I'm left all alone. It's a catch 22, if you will. If the relationship is really important to me and I actually still want/need the person in my life, I'm usually pretty good at making amends. Sometimes, they come back, stay and it works out. Sometimes, not so much.
I don't know if this gives you any insight or not, but I've found that it's a defense mechanism. If you find this to be true, then it's a matter of figuring out when you feel threatened enough to employ detachment as a tactic and finding another coping method. Hope that helps!!
