I agree. You should get out ASAP. You are worthy of love and respect. I am pretty sure you are not a monster. There is nothing wrong with you! Mental illness is something that you can't help. You don't choose to have X,Y,Z. You are perfectly and wonderfully made, and I hope that one day you will believe it! Your brother probably feels the same because of the abuse you both went through and how you both suffer from mental illness. Some of it could be related to stress at college but probably the abuse is a big factor as well. Please, please, please, do what is best for you. With proper treatment and your dedication you can learn to live with your disorders and be happy and healthy on your own. I wish you all the best