1 - It was cyclical originally coming up once a month. This year it got the extra compulsive dysregulation on top of that

2 - Apart from that shopping addiction that was indeed impulsive (mainly because I temporarily could not feel the "reality of money" if that makes sense - I did get back to normal by being able to feel it again and that's why I was able to stop the addiction), I'm not particularly more impulsive than my baseline but sometimes I feel like getting impulsive, except I don't have enough energy to actually get impulsive or I simply don't see the point in taking the action.

3 - No it is not anxious feelings, it is more like my brain puts in overtime doing logical analysis of theories. I am theorizing about things. It's not the "what if" kind of overthinking applied to real life issues. It does feel like racing thoughts sometimes but it has to be a severe episode to be like that. I noticed I have less of that racing thoughts stuff this year, instead I'm more emotional

5 - OK, it was first me making up weird theories, testing them constantly in reality (because I like the scientific way of thinking, that is, you have to verify your theories) then I started making up real weird connections beyond that and then I started to interpret reality in the wrong way, had delusions seeing weird stories overlaying reality and then losing contact with reality overall, especially when my partner/boyfriend at that time (who I was trying to connect to) seemed to sneer at me, that's when I truly got paranoid and thinking he was some foreign malicious serial killer or detective and I lost my memories, I could not remember where I met him first etc., it all got confused up. I tried to fight him then and later the doctor in self-defense when they came for me to take me to the hospital. Well, stuff like this. As for visual hallucinations, I only had them in the corner of my eye. I did get some strong olfactory hallucinations. Auditory not really. I remember these psychotic episodes very clearly btw. It was a bit traumatic.

8 - I don't usually feel depressed, though? Maybe unconsciously? I mean consciously I only have like 5 seconds of feeling strong negative depressive stuff then it goes away for a while.

9 - Which part are you referring to with the dissociation?

10 - I rage usually due to impersonal obstacles, not people, though it's also happened that it was due to people. But I was always capable of rage even when younger and normal, nothing really changed in that area for me. I don't rage more or less often now, it's about the same.

If you want to call my psychotic episodes traumatic then maybe that. Including the way my boyfriend at that time handled the second episode (he was completely lacking empathy, he thought some completely impersonal problem solving approach was sufficient, pfft). I don't think it counts as severe enough trauma to be PTSD though. No real trauma in my life otherwise.