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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
Borderline is the existence of extremes in us that we cannot tolerate at once (hence "dialectical" in DBT). People can't be good and bad at the same time. That's why we fluctuate btwn idealizing and devaluing people. We have an extreme need, an attachment to people, but we also have an extreme fear of abandonment and rejection. Both cannot exist at the same time for us, so we cycle btwn "I love you, I hate you, please don't leave me".
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Ok, I don't relate to any of that whatsoever except for the rejection part. I do have a problem with rejection. Hmm, also, I guess, I want to be isolated from people usually but then sometimes I feel like I need people so that's what I fluctuate between. Tho' I usually think that I should just remain isolated... then sometimes that upsets me. Then I realize that I actually unconsciously dread being around and being connected to people. And so on.
It is interesting though, this "I love you, I hate you, please don't leave me" thing, I was never told that by anyone and I'd sure feel confused if someone was behaving like that with me. Um, I prefer consistency in general.
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If you think you have BPD
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I'm not sure what to think just yet but in the BP (bipolar) forum I was told I sound more BPD than BP.
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were you an emotionally sensitive child? Did you experience childhood trauma?
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No outstanding trauma. By default I deny my sensitivities I think. I'm sure they exist hidden somewhere. I was the same way with that as a kid.
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Both are early indicators of BPD. Do either of your parents suffer from mental illness?
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My father could've been on the schizotypal scale. His stuff resembled mild paranoid schizophrenia sometimes but he was never diagnosed with anything, it did not seriously interfere with his life.
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Are you emotionally regressed for your age?
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Lol I'm an idiot when it comes to emotional matters. So if that's what you mean by it then sure
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Do you feel like a child trapped inside of an adults body? It's often described that way.
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No
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Do you split people into good and bad?
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No, that makes no logical sense to me.
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Do you have a fear of rejection and abandonment?
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Rejection yes, abandonment not sure, if it's there then it must be entirely unconscious.
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Do you tend to get attached to people?
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No, actually have been struggling with inability to connect to people.
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There are over 200 varieties of BPD. BPD is similar to PTSD and BP. And if you're a teenager/young adult, these symptoms might be normal for the stage of life you're in.
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I'm 32, my **** started when I was 28
Thanks a lot btw!