Rohag's observation that depression doesn't care that you have no "reason" to be depressed is so important to remember and embrace. Depression simply is what it is, and whole within itself. It envelopes us and tries to convince us it's our fault, but it's no.

Having a therapist to pull it apart thread by thread until you can begin to see the holes in it. The depression is not you--it's just a negative fabric that wrapped itself around you.

Rohag's idea of asking about a temporary increase in your anti-anxiety meds is a good idea. My pdoc gives me a range of what I can take, and if I feel like it's not enough then I call and we talk about it on the phone or he gives me an appointment.

It sounds to me that whatever brings you down that you think hurts your mom needs to be explored. What are the same issues and same talk that are always involved? If your perception of yourself and your situation tells you you "should be fine" but you know in your gut that you're not, you will have a much better chance of sorting these things out with the help of a therapist or counselor . I don't know where you pare or whether your job includes insurance, but if it's been over a year since you spoke with a psychologist. You ought to be eligible for more sessions.

Please always keep in mind that depression isn't something you invite.it invades your life as an enemy would, and it wants to destroy you. Don't let it! The grounding you do is a great rool. But it may not be enough. Try very hard to check every possible means of getting some sessions with a psychologist/psychiatrist.

If you've not discussed this with your mom what she expects from you. Is it the cost of therapy or the very need or continuing therapy?

Hang on and keep posting here. You may be able to use your grounding technique to let you focus and find the real problem with your mom and her expectations.