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Old Sep 30, 2015, 02:34 PM
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Blush Blush is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 10
Hi.. I just joined this site because I feel as though I'm going through severe depression and anxiety. I feel as though all the emotions I had, happiness, laughter, sadness, guilt, etc have disappeared. I feel like an empty shell of someone I once was. When I look in the mirror I feel like its not me, like its someone else. I feel as though I'm going crazy-everything I used to love I don't care about. When my mom cried after I told her how I felt, I didn't feel bad that she cried, I don't care about anything anymore. I feel like I'm detached from my body, and I'm just watching this girl through life in motions. I feel like I can't eat, its like I've almost forgotten how to eat, I tried eating soup with noodles in it today and I couldn't scarf it down. I've lost 4 lbs this week due to me not eating. My stomach feels like its clogged, and keeping my emotions in. When I look around at the world I feel like my vision isn't perceiving the world correctly. This all started 3 months ago. Nothing traumatic has happened to me. I have a loving boyfriend, a good life, I'm working towards an associates degree in business.

This shouldn't be happening to me. When I talk I feel like I'm not myself, like its not me talking. And then I get an anxiety feeling when I do. I feel awkward and uncomfortable around my family and my boyfriend which NEVER happened before in my life.

I can't concentrate on school work, I'll read a problem and not be able to comprehend it. I feel like I'm falling apart.

Possible trigger:
, which has NEVER crossed my mind before. I just feel trapped and misunderstood. I feel like somethings wrong with me, I feel like a robot.

I've also been experiencing thoughts I have never once thought about. I've never told anyone about these thoughts because I feel like they're false and I'm having them for no reason; but they're about girls. I have images of girls in my mind, and they rush in my mind at a million times. I don't know why, I've never been attracted to girls before, and I could never imagine myself with a woman. It just feels icky and gross. I get anxiety from reading just "her" in a book which doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Or when I see girls, no matter the age I get this anxiety feeling and my heart feels like its going to die.

Possible trigger:
I've just lost interest in everything in my life. I feel awkward talking to my dogs- which I always talk to them or even my cat.

I used to have a YT channel in which I made videos of Pokemon- but even then I don't care for Pokemon anymore.

I just don't feel like.. me. I feel insane, and I feel like some underlying problem has occurred, I mean what else could it be? I was perfectly happy 3 months ago- I was so in love with my boyfriend and I wanted nothing else to be with him. And now I feel like I can't be myself around him.

We did have sex for the first time, but I don't believe sex could cause depression. I just want answers, I just want a fix for this. I feel like life is pointless and I'm trapped. I have no motivation for anything and I feel inhuman. I don't get mad or pissed or annoyed.. I just.. someone help me? What's wrong with me?

I take natural anxiety pills but they seem to be doing little to nothing. And the only change I did in the last 3 months is I got off my birth control pills because I had this brown discharge that lasted for 2 weeks or more. And haven't been on any ever since.

What is wrong with my hormones and how can I get out of this condition? I feel like i'm in a whole other world. And I just want to cry because I never wanted to live my life like this. We only have one life and I feel like its not worth living and thats not normal. I'm not normal and I feel like I'll push everyone I love away from me because of how i'm feeling.

I feel like I'm starving myself because I can't eat, I physically can't eat. I have this intense stomach ache that makes me feel like I have to barf. Someone just tell me what to do. How did I get stuck in this messed up box?

Last edited by bluekoi; Sep 30, 2015 at 10:01 PM. Reason: Add trigger icon. Apply trigger codes.
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