She can have the house, that's two lifetimes worth of alimony right there. Not that it'll be worth anything anymore after she squats in it for about a week and mushrooms and food leftovers become her new roommates...

Well ok, maybe the mushrooms wont move in until she has made more of long terms commitment... to filth... but i'm sure it's only a matter of time before they strengthen their bond.

Oh don't worry, i don't think anything can really offend me anymore, except maybe hentai cartoons (they're so... something awful creepy, right?!)

Well I.... really don't have time...

Even if i would like to spend an hour every week venting to a live person paid to listen to me and provide comforting "uhu's" and "i understand complete's"... and therapy is hip right? All the important people are doing it now... and some of the crazies two but that aside (oh and no offence to any of the crazies who might be reading this... err not that i'm implying anything about the nature of this forum or anything... i'm going to stop typing now ).

Anyways, so what do you suggest i do? Like her? How do you force yourself to like someone?! I mean aside from the fact that liking her probably turns a person into doctor Magoo with large order of nutbar insane on the side, i really don't see how this would be at all feasible.

And what do i say to the therapist?

me: "Yeah hi, i don't like my wife... wish she would leave and leave a clone of herself behind that is nice to my kids and doesn't come with a 747 full of baggage from planet fubar..."

therapist: "Well ok, how are coping with that?"

me: "I don't know, how would you feel if you brought a puppy home that does nothing but grind up all your furniture into toothpicks, leave your shoes looking like Mozes used them to cross the desert of DOGDROOL for 40 years, makes it its mission in life to poop on every square inch of the rug, digs holes the size of yellow stone park in your feng shui yard, and grows up into a terrier that treats your calves like chewtoys..."

therapist: "I would take it to therapy"

me: "it doesn't wanna go and NO... you can't just get rid of it, cause the kids love it (somehow), oh yeah and putting people down is illegal..."

therapist: " putting PEOPLE down?!"

me: "err i meant dogs... DOGS.. putting dogs down, we were talking about dogs!"

therapist: "it's not illegal to put dogs down though?"

me: "it was an analogy..."

therapist: "an analogy to what?"

me: "I'm...I... pfffCOME ON!!... yah i was like... BLINDING SPELL LEVEL 12!! *starts sneaking to the door*

therapist: "I can still see you, you know..."

me: "no you can't *talks really quietly and high pitched* I'm faaar awaaay almost hooome noooow..."

therapist: "errr... stop that..."

me: *gentle closes door* "very faaar awaaaay...."

Hell, i don't even understand my frustrations!

Ok. Would you like me to pm her number to you? I'm sure she'd love another person in her life feeling sorry for her. Also, you'll get over it after a few calls

Oh yeah... I could see that.

I would say fairy... fairy to pretty damn... I dunno how high does "I don't love you, i'm just here for the kids" rate on the obvious scale?

I think she blocks it out. Is that a real thing? People blocking stuff they hear out? Or is that just like some urban legend hollywood abused to make more family drama movies?

You would think so, but the really sad part is it didn't... she just keeps on keeping on, pretends everything is fine, goes back to grating about us never doing anything together and not sleeping together and other relationship issues. I tell her we are NOT actually together, she tells me i'm impossible to talk to and i'm full of fecal matter and she will talk to me when i've grown up...

I tell her i'm serious... she gets pissed and f**ks off (that's her thing whenever conversions get down to the nitty and gritty, she f**ks off...rambles some incoherent stuff all the way to where she f**ks off to... And comes back some time later and she's like "hi, are the kids ready for bed yet?"

It is sad, in fact it would be downright depressing if it wasn't all so very very WEIRD. She is not normal... really... there is something very very odd about her, and i'm not a UFO conspiracy type of person, but she is definitely not from planet Earth.

In fact if any of her reactions to ANYTHING would be at all normal, or at least make some kind of sense, then there is no way this situation could have endured as long as it has...

Random uncontrolled venting alert!

I mean come on... you break up, decide to stay together for the kids but have separate lives, or you just give it another go for real... i mean...you..someone... thing... like... you want some kind of RESOLUTION don't you?! You don't just want to sit around, complain, nothing changes, you are living with someone who is not actually with you, but who pays all your bills, and you are totally fine with all this, and then somehow you just ignore that and gripe about a breadcrumb on the floor (that you put there), and you don't stop griping before it gets cleaned up...

and then when it's cleaned up you produce this totally empty, soulless, shameless "thank you!". THAT is f**ked UP. Seriously i have NO idea how she does this i mean... when she does it, it's like you just heard a voice from a bygone era, there's nothing there, no feelings, no substance. Have you ever shared a room with someone and then you felt like you were all alone, like there was no one really there? That's kind of what it feels like when she says "thanks" (which is very rare), or "sorry" (happened only once or twice so far). It just gives me the creeps.

When she talks to the kids... she is not actually having a conversation with them, she's just venting whatever she is feeling in a "cute" voice. My kids don't even respond to this anymore because they've caught on that she's not really actually giving them attention when she is talking "at" them.

The other day, she was coming down off another meltdown she had after she went on and on and on about some stupid thing (no idea what cause i wasn't listening... i was ... and no it did not discourage her...) and i said something like "well honey that is really YOUR problem and not mine. She erupted into a volcano of boiling hot stupid, making no sense and then finishing off with a series of random accusations (none of which were "you never listen to me"... cause that one would have actually been accurate).

So big fight right?

So today i'm kind of distant... really i was more like terrified she would erupt into another torrent of very loud crazy so i was keeping my distance from her... Suddenly she comes into the bathroom while i'm taking a shower (without knocking... she doesn't knock... EVER), and she's like "wanna play? "...

Ok that's totally normal right there... and no i didn't!

Anyways,

I would like to thanks everyone involved one more time for allowing me to vent here. I know i don't really "contribute" anything much, and i'm just kind of hanging around being all... i dno... something.