Hi,

I think I read your post a couple of times and something bothered from the beginning. Are you really supposed to take it all? I don't know how the law there works, but can't you get some advice from a lawyer or something? Because you just assumed she'll be given the custody of the kids in case you get a divorce, but doesn't her inability to take care of herself counts against her, for example?

You're not supposed to force yourself to like her. Actually, if she doesn't want to get help you can't force herself to go to a doctor either. From my POV, you're not supposed to be living in the same house either.

I grew up in the middle of a weird situation between my parents that affected me a lot and I can't say my mother wasn't nurturing. I fear for your kids becoming teenagers and having little support from her, also that you're busy with work to keep everyone fed and dressed (not judging you as absent, please!). I can only picture this situation getting worse and your wife being manipulative with your kids towards you. I don't think you'll be able to live as roomates, from how you described her she won't accept such thing.

I don't know, it just sounds so wrong that you have to be stuck in this situation with someone who doesn't care about getting their **** together. There must be a way!