I'm really sorry you're going through this. I have been divorced and it was a really tough situation. I initiated the divorce due to his bad money spending habits and his not having any motivation to a) get out of debt and b) have any plan for his future. He was happy to coast on as little money as possible and I wanted to go places, make money, and eventually get to a more secure financial future. So, I can commiserate with money being a strain on a relationship. If two partners don't see eye to eye on finances and agree on things like that, it really can take its toll.

Going to counseling will be beneficial and I really support it, even if it is just to learn some coping strategies during the separation. Typically separations involve the intiatior and the other party. Someone will always be less enthusiastic and oftentimes downright against it. If you are struggling on a personal level, you might look in to seeing a therapist on your own a few times. If money is an issue, your company might have an EAP program or there are sometimes over-the-phone or online counseling options that are less expensive than face-to-face talk therapy. And, obviously, you've made a great first step coming here!

I don't have much of a suggestion for you except to keep your head up, know that it DOES get easier, and to take care of yourself. I am sorry this is happening to you. She has made this decision so she needs to play a bigger part in figuring out how to separate amicably and to figure out this house situation. Can you do a quicksale? Are you upside down on the mortgage? Can you just sell it for what you owe and be done with it? Sometimes, we have to make a sacrifice in the name of speediness. When I went through my divorce, I sold a vehicle and a horse trailer at what I owed. It was a DRASTIC decision but not having that monthly payment and breaking even was worth it. The alternative was battling it out in court and I didn't want that.

Hang in there!!! Always feel free to come here for support and to vent.