Yep, T was right. I'm sitting here holding my tong about to blow. The clicking of the keyboard is pissing me off. I'm shaking I have so much energy. I just spent all our money for Oct. on crap so now I have to find a way to pay electric oh well. Had to go to a food bank the other day because I mismanaged our food $. I almost bought an xbox one but my husband talked me out of it. This is going to be a rough month. I bought 150 books from scholastic k-6 and my son's in 9th. At least I can't spend anymore. I slept infrequent last night. I'm so bored. My husband's worried about my eating. Stupid nutritionist can't get me into her office until November. I stopped drinking soda though so yay me. Do you think I can still go psychotic on the abilify? I don't have pressured speech. I see T on Friday. I don't want him to see me like this. I got to calm down before seeing him. He's never seen me like this. not that it's bad yet. My husband doesn't think I'm manic because I have yet to become the all powerful ***** I usually am. Don't worry I'm keeping my distance so I can't hurt them physically. I'm going to smoke tonight to calm down. I have to wait until Miguel goes to bed because he doesn't know I'm smoking. I wonder how long this is going to last? any guesses? How can my husband not see it? how do I calm down before seeing T? I'm not going to the hospital again. I just had my six month anniversary of no hospitals. I know some of this should phase me but it doesn't I just have to remember I promised to drink at least ever other day. I'm so not going to the hospital. Any suggestions are welcomed except go to the hospital suggestion.