finally got my antidepressant. apparently my pdoc thought the pharmacy sent a random request so she didnt do anything about it since my last appt we had decided i wasnt taking it anymore. grrrr......i guess i should have called her to refill it instead of the pharmacy.

i am wondering.....does anybody else feel there is a differentiation between being suicidal and wanting to die? i have been in this place of feeling done and it being over and not worth it anymore. my trip to my son's i felt that it was going to be the last time family was together and the memories made had to count. i was consumed with these thoughts. the devastation they would all feel when i was gone. them not knowing this was going to be the last time they saw me. BUT, i am not making any plans to off myself at all. how my others are involved in this i dont know but i know at least two of them are highly involved in the thought process. t keeps saying i am suicidal, but i disagree as i am not actively planning anything to my conscious knowledge, just consumed with being gone. does anybody else see a difference?