Hi there and welcome to the forum. We are glad to have you.
I can understand being confused or angry with God. Many have had these feelings and they are understandable.
I do think that you recongnize a problem with the alcohol so you have made the first steps to finding some answers. AA for me was a good place. I don't struggle with alcohol anymore but in all honesty, I do think about it. AA can be a place where others have very similar thoughts and feelings as you do. They can be a great support, the kind that does not judge.
I hope that you consider this as an option, I do think you already are. Try it, doesn't mean you have to keep going if its not a comfort zone for you. I wish you the best. You have seen this as a problem, this is a good thing.
We are here for you. Keep posting, ask questions. There are many supports here and wonderful people. If we can help, just ask. Good luck and let us know.

Justy