Hi Ascella. My heart goes out to you because it sounds like you have had so much suffering. Sometimes writing this stuff down helps some. Have you seen a therapist or counselor lately? You are not a bad person, not a failure. You don't screw things up. The depression will make you think that but it is not true. Having suffered in an abusive family I can understand the depression and anxiety.

Is there a way to study and get your GED? Then perhaps you could go to school to study astronomy, be a vetinarian, or a vet tech. Knowing things you would like to do is half the battle.

Welcome to pc. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.