Like it's not normal, at all. I realized that for being one of those people myself being stupid when I dated, plenty of times. It's so irresponsible.

In the end, I feel many people are like me, they want others to reach out to them, but don't have the courage to go out there like I do. Then when someone comes up to them they feel the need to turn them down in fear they may be at fault if the other person becomes a liability.

See it's why I don't try, I don't try at all. I don't like trying, I don't like effort relationships require work, but what's it worth if the person doesn't want to work. So I give up, and yes it's like my father I used to get stepped on. So what's my ammunition. Make as much room to distance me from the other person as far as possible. The only way to make it better if we make anything happen. I'm easy to compromise. I just don't like many people who want to rush and be so confrontational and controlling and want this and that.

It's sickening and unusually cruel to other people.

I feel like sometimes vomiting in my mouth if the person is pushing their beliefs onto me about relationships. I don't do expect anyone on here or in the planet to believe what I believe at all. It's my beliefs. So it's ok, if we have disagreements, just don't make me do anything I'm not comfortable doing, because you want to be like everyone else or you have a very selfish rational and insecurity complex.

that's what I've learned from relationships. Rather why is it too difficult to have true friendship and intimacy and a sexual connection all in one.

I get the point of it all, but I still am confident it won't help me except have me feel a bit less lonelier and grateful. I feel it do great things, but really it has to be right. I don't believe it would be. I'm always picky too picky and for good reason.