I don't remember a lot of stuff at this point. So there is the forgetting the dissociated stuff during abuse, but then there is the super dysfunctional forgetting of normal things because the brain is wired to dissociate. That's the sucky part for me.

Sometimes during moments of internal chaos, there is no memory of what was happening then. It's like when your eyes can't focus, only this is conscious attention that can't seem to land. Frustrating.