It's sounds like PTSD to me too.
A good therapist could help. DBT, EMDR all very helpful.
I use tapping it is easy to use at home.

Unfortunately most people do not understand an abusive childhood, l am careful who l share with.
Most people don't want to know, l come here to tell all it helps to let it all out.

As a abused child its easy to fall into abusive realationships. In my ignorance l married an abusive man a self absorbed spiteful lazy narc who was:
Just like mother!
On how l regret those wasted years!

Look for red flags in people, raise your self esteem you can do it.