I have had a cocktail that worked for a period of time but our brains or bodies like to play a mean game of "we don't like that normalized feeling" and things change again. I just keep wondering (and I recognize it is playing with fire) if I would be worse off if I were to stop meds. I am already irritable, sad, angry, not sleeping well if at all some nights. I am SI'ing nearly all the time with specificity. Part of me blames it on the change in meds that screwed with and messed me up. How do I trust that process that seems to be based on "let's see" or "let's try"? It's like gambling and we're sitting at a poker table drawing different hands. We may win or lose depending on the cards we draw and are dealt. I seriously want out of the game.