Yes i could have kicked her out of my life the very first red flag that went up, but seriously, is that a reasonable way to approach relationships? I do wonder.

People make mistakes, are imperfect, do stupid things... it does happen, to even the best of us, does that mean we should immediately consider them as "unfit" to share part of our lives? Remember her mother had terminal cancer. That's a pretty good reason to "act out".

Should i have been asked to deal with all this crap after having been in a "relationship" for only a couple of weeks? It's not like we were living together or anything, we were dating. Meaning i saw her only a couple times each week, and only the best side of her. She got pregnant very soon after.

I've thought about it a lot, about things i could have done differently, and well... it seems that i simply would have had to know what was coming in order for me to make that decision to drop her all together.

Meaning that, without the benefit of hindsight, i see no real way i could have avoided this situation... without essentially becoming extremely stoic in my decision making process.

It's down to the way in which she "takes care of herself"... ie very badly.

If you let her go on her merry way she will live inside a chaotic mess of junk, dirt and emotional turmoil.

Now where we live social security is pretty good so it's not like she's going to end up homeless or anything.

Will she harm our kids? I really don't know, it all depends on how her emotional situation evolves. My guess is it's going straight to the gutter, since that is where she is heading every time she has to go without constant support for a while.

Judges don't give a crap about what "might happen", and are only interested in what is already happening. If you harm your kids and your spouse goes to court they will react. If you tell your spouse you're planning to harm your kids, and she takes that to court, they will shrug it off and just sit and wait until something bad happens.

This is just the reality of the situation. Courts do not actually "do" anything for you until your rights have been violated. Now that's all well and good if the violation of your rights involves someone scratching your car, as you can just get it repainted. It's a different story if someone messes you up for life, as that cannot be repaired.

Here's something i could do...

I could go to a judge and demand she pay her own way and share in our living expenses. Problem is she is already broke. I would just be wasting my time, not to mention opening myself up to a whole new kind of abuse. She already complains about money daily, and right now i pay everything. The only thing i refuse to pay is her half of our groceries (usually it's more like her 1/4th) and her phone bill. Although i let her keep our child support money... so really her expenses are down to zilch.

Yeah so long story short...

I could leave, sure, getting custody is all but certain, and more than likely it will not happen. It's a huge chance to take that i can't crawl back from, and i'm not willing to gamble the future of my kids away like that.

I don't think she would be interested in that AT ALL.

She had a good GP once, who helped her solve a lot of her issues (i still see him as a GP), until one day he suggested she go "talk to someone" about her emotional condition. She dumped him instantly and is now seeing some pill popping quack instead, cause you know "who does he think he is suggesting i need 'help'!?".

She lies constantly (and very poorly), and if you catch her in a lie she will blatantly deny it and detach from anyone who might have found out about the lie... except me ofc (i wish). Me, she will just tell 1000 other lies to excuse herself from the initial lie. I have since stopped trying to unravel her web of lies and just let her live in the illusion that i'm buying into her BS.

Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have to tell someone "yes sorry but she lies so..." when people come to you all confused about something that happened and are unable to get an explanation from my wife because they can't reach her in any way?

A couple weeks back i was called up a pharmacist to ask me what i needed so much painkillers for. I told him i had no idea what he was talking about and I hardly ever took any.

Long story short, she had been collecting my subscriptions (and altering them to get more) and had gone completely overboard to the point where the pharmacist felt it necessary to call me up about the situation. Even though there is nothing "odd" about people with my condition taking painkillers DAILY... that's how many she had been claiming.

Yeah so bottom line i told him I had no idea it was happening and that she was not collecting them for me, and that if she said she was, she was basically lying. I have to go back there you know? She wont ofc.

She wont go back because i told her the pharmacy called me. She denied everything ofc, and then made it clear she will never buy anything there again (great!). And the reason i informed her of what had happened (as i could have just let her get busted), was because I know that if she goes back there and gets busted on her BS, she will make a massive scene, and like i said... unlike her, i DO need to still show my face there.

So yeah, therapy.. forget it... She is in denial, 100%. When my son had to get tested because of his behavioral issues, she was in panic, almost refused to go, because she was so scared sh*tless that they might ask her some questions and KEEP HER THERE. (she actually said that!!). So basically she's aware of how fubar her behavior is, she just sort of phases it out and builds up this giant fantasy where nothing that ever went wrong was her fault at all.

Anyways, got to take care of dinner, I've already spent way too much time that i didn't have on here the past few days ;-)