The closer to the outdoors I am the more intune I am with my higher self. Nature is important to me, and the farther I get away from the trappings of technology and civilization the better I feel. My mind is clearer, my body relaxed.

This is one of the reasons I believe I have been so emotionally unhealthy the last three years. This has coincided with a move to a city. As it is prairie, even getting out of the city seems to be lacking for me. Before I moved here I was extremely active. Kayaking, climbing, hiking, camping, snowshoeing, speelunking, etc. Life seemed so much more worth living. I seemed so much more in tune with all around me. Now I am closed in with retail and office space all around me. Fast food and business signage invading my nights. Even the smells of exhaust and construction get me down. No greenspace to be seen.

I enjoyed life to the fullest. But family needed me close to them because of concerns about mania. Instead I have exchanged the constant sense of feeling good for disappointment and debilitating depression.