I can't keep it together. I feel like I'm really falling apart. I'm not typically prone to depression (and have never been on meds for it), but it just seems like so many rotten things have happened:

I got laid off at work. From a job I loved. My ex-lover of five years is seeing someone new. I can't be around my old friends because I might run into him, hear about him, or in general be reminded of when I was with him.

No one's calling me about new work though I've sent out resumes. I have good work experience (was a good worker and well liked), but I don't have the educational background that some folks have and that might cause me not to be considered for some jobs. It's depressing to keep sending my resume into a black hole.

I'm having trouble talking in therapy because I'm so frikkin' down. I'm also in group therapy which depresses the hell out of me because I've never been able to connect to the other people in my group. I keep going because T wanted me there and thinks it will ultimately help me, but 6 months in I'm even more shy of talking than I was initially. I don't know why I'm so anxious, but I leave there depressed every week.

Today in therapy I just wanted to scream "I hurt!" I communicated the sentiment but didn't do any actual screaming. I guess I'll do it here:

I HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sidony