It's truly crippling. Sometimes I am surprised that I still have a job as I've been taken time off work a few times this year's it's a constant cycle every year. Up and down. Up and down.
It's absolute hell. Although mania truly feels like you are enlightened in life, the crash is hard and I often feel embarrassed from it.
At the moment I don't know who I am. I thought I was me during the summer. Now I don't have a clue. I am trying to find myself during this depressive episode.
The only good thing about being depressed is being able to actually reply and post on this forum and making more sense.
The bad thing is feeling numb and listening to my head telling me to punch and cut myself. I punched my leg to feel and I didn't feel much tbh. It's pretty ******.
But otherwise I feel alone and wanting to be alone. All I want to do is sleep. That's the only thing I look forward to because I don't feel a thing during sleep. Music and drawing helps me a lot at the moment and walks. Has anyone tried to find themselves in this episode before?
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Bipolar affective disorder 2
Possible cptsd not yet dx
Seroquel 300mg
Lithium 600mg
Propranolol 30mg
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