Weeks, but then again I don't do it often. Yet I'm contemplating it today. No serious urges, just thinking. This disturbs me a little.

I'm in the state of mind that usually brings it on, constantly being bombarded with self-attacks. A feeling that everything about me is wrong and bad and needs to be obliterated on the deepest level - weak, afraid (and so ashamed of my fear), disgusting, pathetic, useless, worthless, stupid, why wouldn't such a person deserve to hurt or die?...

Sorry. I've been crazy today.