Quote:
Originally Posted by Capriciousness
I have a hard time with these kinds of things because I never know what EXactly a grudge or forgiveness means in these things....in these ways....so yeah I try to be forgiving and no hold grudges and I feel like I succeed.
But I can't just delete these events from my life and I cannot erase all evidence of emotional pain from them....
so i don't know
i think probably my short answer is yes
and i think it is normal to hold grudges.
perhaps it even serves a healthy protective purpose in certain situations.
|
"But I can't just delete these events from my life and I cannot erase all evidence of emotional pain from them...."
So true. I've worked endlessly on this stuff but it all still just sticks. It's about brain plasticity. We learn most about the world when we're kids and it's so hard to shift from the thinking we were engineered to have in our minds. And for me, all that makes me very reactive to things in my current life as that learning was about terror, abuse and neglect. And they say survival mechanisms we have as children are maladaptive if they roll over into adulthood. But they're so imprinted on our brains.