Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds just desolate for you without your mom. I've lost loved ones and it feels like it will just never get normal again, and it doesn't really. It gets different, as you know.

I also struggle with self care. I can't maintain a consistent schedule at all, I have agoraphobia, and I struggle with showering at times and my place is a cluttered mess. I wish I could be more helpful than this, but does it help if you hear your mom's voice in your mind urging you to do the things for yourself that she used to encourage you to do? Can you internalize her card and love? These are just things to maybe try if you haven't already. Believe me I know how hard it is. I wish I could be of real help.