Rarely a grudge holder. Someone has to work pretty darn hard to make my "thou art Forevermore S*** Unto Me" list. Others have brought up the parent thing, and it's true, I haven't spoken to her in years. I don't think of it as a grudge though. Childhood damage done, can't be undone. Never "owned" any of it. BUT. The reason I did finally cut off contact was her continuing toxicity in the (then) present. It wasn't about "holding something against". It was about self-care.

The "F.S.U.M." list is actually very, very short. (Really, it takes so much effort on their part that it only seems fair to grant a place on the list. )

I'm big into giving the benefit of the doubt, seeing in grays and from various viewpoints, and vastly prefer getting along (or at least adjusting things to whatever level of interaction minimalization is needed to achieve a basically peaceable atmosphere.) Bridges may suffer from neglect, but I'm not prone to actively burning them.