Well I wish you the best of luck, but I do want to say. I'm some guy on the internet whether my opinion matters or not. You matter somewhere in your world in your head, you focus on you the way you do because you care about yourself because you matter.

Whether everyone's opinions coerce and force you to live a certain way and you know deep down you don't belong there. Do what I do, don't do it. I use it as an opportunity to troll and do the opposite as intended not be disrespectful manner, but lay down your line that this is mine and no one can own what is me.

I say this all the time all my life, because I was ostracized and that I do feel that being very lonely for not just being different, but being unloved for that manner because of being different.

It's just that like my therapist said, and I hated him so much, but he was right, and I do this in a way that suits me best as you might choose to do the same for yourself. Love yourself as your own best friend over anyone else.

Sadly when you do this, you become humbled how not alone you are, but then again like me I realize I'm alone, because all these sad, hurt people are everywhere, but they don't want to give to help others, because they do not have the courage or strength or knowledge how to give and love others. I'm not saying being a people pleaser at all, quite the opposite my words are a gift. The emotions are tied to real feelings interpreted into these words I type here.

I felt hurt and more on the outside, because I relate to the words you say, I want to say, before you delete your account and go on whatever you may choose in life that's best for you. Read my previous posts. Just read them which ever ones you like or that suit you the most, but afterwards you may private message me what you find that may help you.

Right now I'm in your shoes, and all I care about now is giving. Even though my best friend died one of my closest friends. It's brought to light how I just want to make others happy or help them the best I can.

Thank you. I hope this helps. I wish you the best.