I woke up fearfully. I feel agitated, sad, I want to jump to the walls and stay in bed and do more with my life and I'm so afraid and I want to be hugh but I feel guilty that I don't love me and I'm such a drain to my mother and I want to call to my therapist and talk and talk and talk and why I'm not alright already? Why I'm passing from the same crap I passed when I had my very first crisis 3 years ago? What was the point of my therapy and my medicine and ending my Bachelor degree if I still feel so afraid and impotent with life and I'm not enjoying what could be the best time of my life and I'm so ungrateful with all the people who had helped me and to myself for hurting me so much and I want it to stop, I want to stop fearing the mornings and my mind and the world