I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2012 ,I had the worst experiences of my life due to this disorder , my manic episodes were severe at least the two first ones were, I lost touch of reality, I had delusions ,paranoia , I would break things ,yell ,take my clothes off , such an ugly time ,and since I had the access to the internet during that time ,as you can imagine I made a completely stupid out of myself , did things I would never do ,I was hospitalized once, the episodes passed and I felt awful and pain for what had been done , I managed somehow to live with that , continued my study and tried to live a normal life, it went well for some time and it happened again three months ago ,although, it was a mild manic episodes comparing to the other ones I had ,but it costed me ,my relationships with people I really loved and cared for, saw future with ,I acted like a someone who had lost his mind ,and now I feel really horrible and can not let go of the shame and guilt I am feeling , and the thing that kills me the most ,is that I live in society where they’re not tolerant and not understanding at all to this kind of disorders , I got such bad stigma by them ,it hurts as hell now ,I keep reliving the bitterness of my actions over and over again ,I feel pain ,anger and hatred at my self ,sadness , shame ,I feel like I am trapped with these emotions I have ,I need to let go of my past but I don’t know how ..

Can you please tell me how to overcome this ? how did you cope with yourself after the manic episodes ? and how did you deal with people who witnessed you during those tough times ?

thank you in advance .