I had a friend for about 18 years that died suddenly, this occurred five years ago. We both met each other as young adults and had a long term friendship. During this friendship, it was very tumultuous. Occasionally, she could be verbally cruel or say cutting things. Most of the time we got along well. We took many vacations together, even one trip overseas, and we would talk on the phone at least once a week or see each other. We also got to know each others families. During all these years, occasionally she would make reference to this woman named "Susan" as being her "best friend". It was someone she used to work with. This kind of stung the first time I heard it, because I had thought we were best friends of course, since we traveled together, hung out together, talked all the time and shared many confidences. But after a while I decided I didn't care anymore. That she was confirming my status as just a friend and not a best friend. This woman named Susan lived in a nearby city, but she hardly ever saw her. Maybe once a year. I never met Susan in person. Then, when my friend died, this woman named Susan was not even at her funeral.
Since then, my friend's family members will contact me on facebook once in a while to "talk" about their lost loved one. This has gone on for years. And they never ask about me, how I am doing, or how my family is doing. I have been there for support, but now I feel its time to move on. I would like to know how to nicely tell these people to contact Susan instead of me. Since Susan was her best friend, I feel it would be more appropriate for them to contact her now. I know that sounds cold, but I feel I should honor the classifications she established for people she knew during her lifetime. Also, I really have no desire to talk to her mom anymore for several reasons. Her mom contacted me over a month ago, pretty much demanding that I call her on the phone. I've been putting it off for a long time, but I really don't want to talk to her.