I'm sorry. So sorry. So much stuff. So much bad. Am all bad. Too much happening. No energy. Can't cope. Sorry for wasting time, space and energy again. I suck. Crying crying want to hurt myself but not allowed. T trying to help. Worried about me. I'm sorry. Don't mean to be bad. Sorry I said anything. Sorry. Nothing really bad. Same old crap. Same tapes in my head. Won't leave me alone. Trying failing can't deal. So tired and fed up with my life. Little "Me" won't stop trying to cry and hurt and just wants me to feel bad. Keep bottling. Not allowed to be sad or mad or anything bad. So much work in therapy. Twice this week. Nothing seems worth it. Trying to hold on. Told "I can do this" but don't know anymore. So hard to get up. So hard to not think bad stuff. Just want to forget the bad stuff. Want to be free of my stupid problems.

Gonna go back and hide now. Sorry for being me. So sorry for so much.

Unmissable Unloveable Horrible Me.



(not suicidal, don't worry... want to SI ... )