I do in fact keep a few grudges and I know it is not healthy - especially the one of my ex husband.

My mother was very dysfunctional. She was hurtful, neglectful, and at times abusive. In a world of bullies she was my biggest one. Naturally I hold a big grudge against her. She has been dead now these past ten years and still it is rare a day goes by that I don't think of some memory about her and am filled with hate and loathing.

I left my ex of 16 years (common law) and got nothing but the clothes on my back. In addition to the house he had our savings of the high six figures. I was entitled to none of it. So, to constantly hear of his exploits - last year it was quitting his job because he wanted to pursue acting, this year it is moving to Panama for 10mos to find himself - has been really hurtful and hard to take. With each new ridiculous adventure I feel a knife plunged into my gut. I'm going to say it, damn it, the money does matter to me. I don't deserve to live in the squalor disability forces me to. Not to mention the difficulty of living 16 years with an abusive, lying, cheating, SOB. Hell yes I'm jealous. Heck yes, I'm worth it.