Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeonic
...
This feelings, that I can't quite put my finger on, that has been happening for 1.5 years or very well 2 weeks. A feeling I can't describe, that I don't understand, it doesn't sit well with me. A feeling of distress, it's a mix of Deep hatred and anger, confusion, I feel like crying out, but can't cry, and I haven't cried since my father died, and haven't managed to cry since.
Like I said I never managed to forge durable friendships, I can't care about anyone, I can't love anyone, it's like I hate everyone.
I'm not depressed, or I've been depressed so long it's a part of me now, and that bothers me, It's like I'm broken and unrepairable, no therapist has been able to "fix"/help me, no medication (that I've stopped taking since a month ago, by the way, but before that I was on Xeroquel). I struggle to develop social links, to get close to people, for some strange reason.
|
Hi Aeonic,
Personally, I think you are depressed, but I personally think that any depression can be repaired. I'll make a couple of suggestions here, but, first of all, you have been through a huge tragedy and an enormous amount of stress and years of traumatic events. If you have the means, give yourself a break and give yourself a good long chance to recover. You have been through a lot.
The two suggestions I have is to first look at these notes and see if they describe what's going on in your head. If so, there is a slightly crazy sounding thing that you can do that really can work wonders in spite of what it might sound like to you:
http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf
The second suggestion is to care about and improve your health in as many ways as you can. You can find some ideas here that are safe, improve your health and are often good for mental problems:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html
Actually, one more suggestion is to keep posting here. Add your insights and observations about yourself or others or both and, generally, keep in touch.
- vital