Why does everything always go badly? I honestly thought I was over it this time.. But I dunno, everything feels all too familiar. The same thoughts, the same urges, the same low mood and lack of motivation to do anything. Just want to hide from the world. It would be quite nice to disappear altogether. I guess my meds have stopped working? Maybe they didn't ever work and it was just coincidence that I was feeling better. Or maybe I had just been keeping busy enough to fight off the miserableness, and now I'm slowing down I'm having time to think? I don't know. Whatever it is I don't like it. And I'm scared. Every time it seems to be worse than the last even when I don't think it's possible to get worse. I just wanted to be better. I thought I was better.