Hello to everyone in the forum. I have been in therapy for nearly 3 years. The T that I have has a great reputation, has helped many people and is a caring person. I don't believe that shes's in it just for the money. I'm not going to say horrible things about her, because she is far from that. Here is my dilemma and any input or insight is greatly appreciated! So I've been seeing my T for issues regarding sexual abuse as a child into my teen years, depression, deeply rooted anger/sadness towards my parents for not having protected me when they should have, probable emotional neglect when I was an infant. It is hard for me to tap into emotion, my T has been patient with me. .she has encouraged me to try body work but I'm often resistant, although I have tried a few things. She has encouraged me to express my sadness/anger and more importantly tried to help me to tap into it. It is EXTREMELY difficult for me to allow myself to feel these emotions largely due to being stifled as a child. She is majorly into bioenergetics and I'm just not always comfortable engaging in that kind of work. She never forces me though. I have always emailed her after every session because I need the continued connection...she always used to respond, with care and empathy . There is definitely transference towards her, maternal. She has always told me that she is here for me, that she is with me. But as of late she keeps her responses to a minimum, if she even responds. I know about the boundaries but emailing has always been okay with her, she has told me it is. Now I find myself feeling uncertain because she seems to feel emailing might not be good, I'm aware that therapy is not to be done via email but she has always been good with it, would even even tell me she was glad I told her things in email. I know I have insecurities and issues but I'm starting to wonder if it's all my stuff causing me to feel uncertain or am I accurate in my feelings that maybe she is getting tired of working with me, I wonder if she resents me because she does sliding scale with me and has been good enough to never ask me for more money per session, that maybe she wishes she could fill my 50 minutes with someone who can pay that 140.00 per therapeutic hour. These are honest thoughts /concerns that I'm having. I really respect and like my T but I would think after almost 3 years of working with her it would be different. Sometimes it feels like she's getting tired of me, again...my perception. I find myself feeling upset with her because I want more,some unrealistic and I know that is part of the work but to feel frustrated or sad,even mad....I don't know what to make of it. Maybe this is a part of the therapeutic journey towards a healthier life or is it a sign that we've gone as far as we possibility can in our alliance. ..I'm just not sure. ...feeling very conflicted.