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Originally Posted by tiger8
What do you mean by she ended up pushing you out the door? Did she send you away? Why on earth?
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It's complicated. I developed strong feelings for her. I said so. She did not share those feelings. I experienced that as the most painful rejection of my life. She decided we should stop and I should see another T. But termination felt like more rejection plus abandonment. There was intense attachment and even dependence. I reached out repeatedly in attempt to restore the attachment bond. She refused then cut off all contact. This left me in total despair. Was maybe a replay of early childhood trauma or distress.
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Originally Posted by tiger8
As for uncovering vs inducing an issue, I think there are issues that are buried from the conscious mind, are dormant and perhaps inactive yes but it doesn't mean that if you find access to them that you actually induce them because 1) it was already causing other issues anyway, everything is connected in the brain 2) there is no guarantee it would not have been awakened later in life either suddenly in some other setting or over time gradually.
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Yes I agree. What I meant though was the experience in therapy was
itself extremely painful and even traumatic. It was not just an awakening of old wounds or deficits. Many of the subsequent Ts that I tried wanted to bypass this and go into old patterns, instead of working thru the therapy trauma. From my experience there is much denial in the therapy biz about this. I also came up against defensiveness and even some outright hostility.
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Originally Posted by tiger8
My issues, hmm, I have some old coping mechanism resembling schizoid PD that no longer works consistently - it used to work for 10+ years - and that left me unstable mentally/emotionally. You could say that such a dormant inactive issue as mentioned above was awakened suddenly in a life setting.
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So do you tend to be detached and avoidant? Are you saying this tendency got exposed in therapy and the coping mechanism broke down? What do you think is the origin of this?
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Originally Posted by tiger8
I do think that that coping mechanism was just hiding issues with rejection and abandonment in general. What does attachment rejection mean in your case? Do you reject others or do you fear others rejecting you?
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Yea that would seem logical. I fear others rejecting me. Thats why the therapy rejection was so gutting. I was powerless to prevent it because of the attachment and dependence.