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Originally Posted by unaluna
Bud, thats excellent insight. The thing is, being told yes is also annihilating, as it does equate to incest. Being told no is annihilating because the child or client THINKS they are in control, but they never can be. It would be like reenacting and gratifying the child's fantasy (of being in control), instead of letting the child face and deal with his or her angry feelings. Ooh - which still lurk in me. And which a person can "inherit" from the parent. Thanks for continuing this discussion. Pc IS like therapy - we just keep peeling off those onion layers!.
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Thanks unaluna.
I can imagine being told yes would be possibly horrifying. ALthough I wonder if this applies much more to male T/female C. For me (female T/male T) I don't think it would have felt that way, though would have been very confusing.
I know that theory of the T not gratifying client's infantile wishes, but I wonder how prudent it is to stir up these wishes in the first place.
For me lot of the torment was to do with adult needs. Lot of ppl seem to overlook that developing intense feelings for a T might be partly, or largely, to do with the here and now. Or it's just dismissed as unrequited love, get over it. But being told no did speak to the child too. So it was double rejection.