Hey,

it is very normal for this to fluctuate. I'll be forty next year (I'm so oooooold), but I really only understood that I'm transgender about one and a half years ago.

For me, I often feel my "transness" more strongly when I'm in a strictly gendered environment and when my dysphoria is high. But that doesn't mean I'm not trans the rest of the time, it just means it doesn't hurt so much.