The problem is feeling incompetent, arguably even more so since I'm part of the techy generation (I'm 21, BTW. I wonder if I come across as older online...which would be funny since I apparently look 4-5 years younger in person, or so I've been told). So many people my age are extremely knowledgeable in STEM, taught themselves how to code as middle schoolers, can discuss the intricacies of the latest discoveries and innovations...and I couldn't even pass college biology 101. I'm basically barred from ever understanding physics since I failed calculus twice.

And let's not even get started about radical innovation and singularities. That **** terrifies me. I've contemplated it, and at bottom I think there's this fear of...losing parts of myself, I guess. Whether it's from having to dispose of my personality and outlook to adapt to a technical world, or the possibility of having my thoughts, memories, and personality jarred and damaged by a neural implant or the mind uploading/linking process, I kind of hope I'm dead before it comes to pass. Fine, I'm a prosophobe. Sue me.

Though right now my anxieties are more leaning towards technological unemployment, and my own prospects of survival. If it really is "start coding or die", or even be a scientist or die...then I'm going to die. And despite the occasional suicidal ideation, I'm not ready to die quite yet.

There's one other problem. I've stumbled on a few articles recently claiming that the most vital skills in the coming years will actually be creative, social, and emotional skills. Which would be great, except I'm so socially useless I've wondered if I have a disorder, and I'm not really creative, except in modes of verbal expression. Only now am I learning to do basic communication comfortably, without overplanning. And when I write, the message isn't much; nothing especially profound or interesting. So I'm a bit lost.