Hi amylou. I'm glad your on pc. Its a great place to talk and get support from people who understand what your going thru. I myself have had a similar situation with one of my exes. He was also very controlling and was my whole life. I know people are going to say that its better off without your ex, just like people tell me. But with me I've been without him for two years, and if he asked me to take him back I would. I don't know if that's the way it is for you but if you need someone to talk to you can message me. I'm usually on at least once a day