Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise
wow what a hard situation and very confusing...first sorry for your loss of your mother.
Im confused...
your mother took care of you financially
your mother told you when to brush your teeth
your mother told you when to take your meds
your mother made sure you ate every day
your mother forced you to take showers....
you are 33 and these things are things that parents do for very young children not fully grown adults....unless that adult has been declared incompetent to make their own physical and mental health decisions...
so im assuming here your mother felt you were incompetent to make your own mental and physical health decisions. I havent read any of your past posts so no idea whether this was court mandated guardianship\conservatorship situation with you.
my confusing is if your family had to take care of you like this how is it that they think you are capable of caring for them now that your mom is gone when before she died you were not able to take care of your self...you lived with your mom and they obviously knew your mom was caring for you, having someone so dependent like this is not something that is able to be hidden from family, especially if the dependent is a grown adult living with mom and mom footing all the bills and basic nutritional and hygienic (bathing\showering) needs and other finances of the dependent adult.
my suggestion would be contact a treatment provider, they can help you get into an adult residential program for you and your children that will help you to learn how to do those things for yourself which your mother was doing for you, that way your family wont try to step in and have you court mandated into removal of your children and you committed to a psychiatric facility due to your inability to care for yourself and your childrens needs.
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We kept things on the downlow, so nobody really knew how much she was doing for me. I always paid my sharoe of the bills, and used to take showers at least 3 days a week, but that was often after my mother told me I stink. She would remind me to clip my toenails and such. I kept up the house for several months, but had a very busy two or three weeks with work related stuff and was not home. My daughter is 13 and eats constantly, so she creates a lot of dishes and a lot of other miscellaneous messes... She cleans them when prompted to do so, but only then. After work I'm often to tired to pick that battle... Focusing instead in whether or not she's caught up on schoolwork (she is) and making sure she's had her meds.
Moving forward, we've made an agreement that after the dishes in the sink are done by me (because they're gross), she will ensure that all of her dishes will end up in the dishwasher, rather than all over the house. If she doesn't keep up on it, it's her responsibility to do all of them. She also takes the trash out. I also have a very large senior dog (100lb lab) to take care of. He takes daily medication and requires frequent walls to help with his severe arthritis (which I also suffer from). I'm just your average low functioning bipolar person. I got a new job as a peer counselor making enough to pay the bills here. I'm doing ok, except self care. I can't seem to find time for it unless forced. I wish with everything I've got that I didn't have to live without her. I'm struggling with finding a will to live... I do take care of my family, and usually provide for them. I just feel broken and so very sad. I don't know how to live without her. Bipolar disorder made hitting the normal milestones impossible, but we made a great team. My house is a two person household to run, and now I'm doing it myself without any help. And trying to take care of myself without being cued to do it. I'm struggling.
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