We kept things on the downlow, so nobody really knew how much she was doing for me. I always paid my sharoe of the bills, and used to take showers at least 3 days a week, but that was often after my mother told me I stink. She would remind me to clip my toenails and such. I kept up the house for several months, but had a very busy two or three weeks with work related stuff and was not home. My daughter is 13 and eats constantly, so she creates a lot of dishes and a lot of other miscellaneous messes... She cleans them when prompted to do so, but only then. After work I'm often to tired to pick that battle... Focusing instead in whether or not she's caught up on schoolwork (she is) and making sure she's had her meds.

Moving forward, we've made an agreement that after the dishes in the sink are done by me (because they're gross), she will ensure that all of her dishes will end up in the dishwasher, rather than all over the house. If she doesn't keep up on it, it's her responsibility to do all of them. She also takes the trash out. I also have a very large senior dog (100lb lab) to take care of. He takes daily medication and requires frequent walls to help with his severe arthritis (which I also suffer from). I'm just your average low functioning bipolar person. I got a new job as a peer counselor making enough to pay the bills here. I'm doing ok, except self care. I can't seem to find time for it unless forced. I wish with everything I've got that I didn't have to live without her. I'm struggling with finding a will to live... I do take care of my family, and usually provide for them. I just feel broken and so very sad. I don't know how to live without her. Bipolar disorder made hitting the normal milestones impossible, but we made a great team. My house is a two person household to run, and now I'm doing it myself without any help. And trying to take care of myself without being cued to do it. I'm struggling.

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